Garfield Weighs In
by Ellis97
Summary: In this newest installment, Garfield is stuck babysitting a certain gray tabby kitten once again, two more animals join Orson's barnyard family, and Garfield has a little something to explain to a certain pink cat.
1. Cute to Boot

**Author's Note:**

 **Well it's time for another story starring Garfield and all of his fun loving friends. Join Garfield, Roy, Lyman and all of their friends in these three new fabulous, funtastic fables!**

 **And now, on with the show!**

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Our story opens today as we see Garfield lying down on the countertop.

"Oh Garfield," Jon walked with something behind his back "Guess who mom and dad have brought over for us for a visit?"

"I'd better not be Nermal." Garfield looked at Jon.

"Your favorite niece, Nermal." Jon showed Nermal in his hands.

"My worst nightmare has come true." Garfield rolled his eyes.

"Nermal, you stay with your Uncle Garfield." Jon told the kitten "I'd better get to work on my cartoons."

"You know why I hate Nermal?" Garfield looked at the readers "It's not because she's tiny, cute and young, it's because she reminds me I'm not any of those things. I'm fat, old and ugly."

"Let's play Uncle Garfield." Nermal jumped onto Garfield.

"Okay, let's go get a snack Nermal." Garfield walked to the kitchen.

"Right behind you my favorite uncle." Nermal followed Garfield.

Garfield and Nermal walked into the kitchen and saw a pie on the table.

"Oh boy, a pie." Nermal looked up "I want it Uncle Garfield."

"Okay Nermal," Garfield looked at Nermal "I'll get it."

Garfield stood up on two legs to grab the pie, but couldn't reach it.

He then dropped back on four legs "Nermal, give me a boost."

"Sure Uncle Garfield." Nermal held out her front legs.

Garfield climbed onto Nermal's front paws and was nearly squishing her. Luckily, Garfield grabbed the pie.

After eating the pie (Garfield ate most of it), Nermal and Garfield licked themselves clean.

"Let's go listen to what's on the radio, Uncle Garfield." Nermal smiled at Garfield.

"No Nermal" Garfield lept into his bed "I'm gonna take a nap."

"Please uncle?" Nermal begged.

"No." Garfield pretended to ignore Nermal.

"Please?" Nermal got into Garfield's bed "Please, please, please, please."

"Fine!" Garfield walked to the radio "Follow me."

Garfield used his front paw to turn on the radio and some music played on.

"I love this song." Nermal started dancing on his hind legs.

Garfield looked at his niece "Maybe if I dance, I can become the center of attention like Nermal."

Garfield stood on his hind legs and tried to dance, but one of his bones cracked.

"I think I pulled something." He slowly went back on four legs.

Garfield walked over to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"At least I can get some food from all that dancing." He walked to his bowl.

Garfield saw Nermal over at his bowl full of cat food.

"Hey!" He hissed "That's mine!"

Nermal started eating out of Garfield's bowl.

"Never mind." He walked away "You can have it. I'm not eating anything that you touched."

"Thank you Uncle Garfield." Nermal happily ate the food.

Garfield went back to the couch and lied down.

"If there's one thing I hate more than living with a dog, it's having Nermal as a niece." He curled up. "I need to think of a way to get her out of my fur."

After thinking for a moment, Garfield got an idea. He went over to the door, jumped to the door knob and used his front paws to twist the door.

Nermal walked to Garfield "What's going on Uncle Garfield?"

"Sorry you have to leave so soon Nermal" Garfield smiled at her.

Nermal was confused "But I wasn't..."

Garfield picked up Nermal with his front paw and threw her out of the door. He then used his hind legs to close it.

Garfield looked at the audience "I'm not afraid of her staying her welcome, I just don't want her to break a new one."

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Well, Nermal had just come for another visit and that means that Garfield had to put up with her annoying, cute ways. But hey, that's Garfield, he just hates cute things. Anyways, get ready to meet the last two new residents of US Acres in our next chapter. Stay tuned folks!**


	2. Gone to the Dogsand Cats

Our story opens on US Acres where we see the farmer arriving home with some sort of pet carrier in his truck.

"Here you two go." he told the animals from the carrier "Have fun on your new home."

One of the animals, a black and white puppy ran into the barn. Inside the barn, Orson, Booker, Roy, and Sheldon were sleeping. The puppy saw them and was very intrigued by them.

"Bark! Bark! Bark!" He barked loudly.

The puppy barked so loud that Orson, Roy, Booker and Sheldon suddenly woke up and were sent flying out of their sleeping spot. The puppy left the barn.

"What do you suposse that was?" Orson stammered at the puppy.

"I say we kill it before it spreads to any of us." Booker suggested.

"Well, I hope it doesn't come back." Orson jumped back onto the ground.

"I forgot, I left something in the coup," said Roy "I'll be back."

Roy went outside to go to the chicken coup, when the puppy came up to him.

"What is that thing?" Roy looked at the puppy, disgusted.

"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" the puppy pounced on Roy and bit him right on the leg.

"YEEEOOOWWW!" He shouted.

Inside the barn, Orson was once again, reading a book when Roy came along.

"Hey Orson," Roy tapped on Orson's shoulder.

"Yes Roy?" the pig turned around.

"Have you noticed any other animals around the farm lately?" Roy asked.

"No I haven't." Orson shook his head "Why do you ask?"

"Look at this" Roy showed the puppy biting his leg.

"I say that's either a strange growth on your leg, or that's a new animal." Orson remarked.

"Well then get this animal off of me!" Roy tried to pull the puppy off.

"Hang on Roy" Orson got up.

Roy and Orson both pushed and pulled the puppy and then the puppy flew right off Roy's leg and into the fields.

"Boy, those guys sure are swell." said the puppy.

Just then, Sheldon came walking to the puppy.

"Hello friend," he said to the puppy "My name is Sheldon. Who are you and what are you?"

"My name is Cody" said the puppy "I'm a hunting dog. I'm also a egg-sucking meat eater. What are you?"

"A rock with feet!" Sheldon said quickly.

"Oh," Cody looked at Sheldon "I guess I'll you around."

"Now I have to go run, screaming now" Sheldon said in his thoughts.

Cody walked all around the barnyard, looking for some more animals to meet. Just then, he saw Wade.

Wade looked down at Cody "Aww, what a cute little puppy."

"Grrr." Cody growled "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"

"AAAAHHH!" Wade shouted and ran.

Cody kept barking and chased after Wade. Orson and Roy saw the whole thing.

"Somehow, I reckon there's no need to introduce Wade to the farmer's new dog." Orson said to Roy.

"Yep." Roy remarked.

Cody kept chasing Wade to the side of the barn and the duck jumped onto a bale of hay, quivering with fear.

Cody kept loudly barking at Wade. Just then, a voice came from the other side. It was a blue cat.

"Cody, there you are!" said the cat.

"Oh, hi Blue." Cody smiled.

Blue walked over to Wade, who was still on the bale of hay "I hope Cody didn't frighten you mister."

"That's okay," said Wade "Being scared is a hobby of mine."

Cody and Blue walked over to the fields and went to have a talk.

"Now listen, Cody" Blue told him "We're new to the farm, the farmer and his wife want to have us to keep them company. We also want to make a good impression on the other animals. What I'm trying to say is..."

Just then, Blue looked at Cody and saw him sucking Sheldon in his mouth.

"Hey!" Blue shouted at him "If you don't spit Sheldon out, I will rip the lips right off your mouth! Capisce?!"

"Mmm hmm." Cody spit Sheldon right out.

"Cody, why don't you go meet the sheep?" asked Blue "They seem very nice."

"No problem Blue." Cody ran to the sheep "I can't wait to practice my hunting skills on them."

Cody saw Lanolin and Bo and ran up to them.

"Alright sheep!" he snarled at them "Prepare to meet your doom!"

Cody tried standing on two legs, but he then he dropped back down on four legs.

"Oww, ooh ow." he whimpered.

"What's wrong little puppy?" Bo asked Cody.

"My leg hurt." Cody whimpered.

"Here, let me help you little guy." Bo rubbed Cody's tummy and hurt leg.

"That's much better, thank you." Cody smiled.

"Anything for a fellow animal." Bo smiled.

"This is one very distrubed lamb." Lanolin looked at the readers.

"A lamb?" Cody jumped up "Alright lamb! Prepare to be terroized before I devour you!"

Cody barked at Lanolin, who looked very annoyed and unammused.

"BAAAA!" She shouted.

Cody ran away and leapt into Blue's arms in fear.

"Don't worry Cody," Blue hugged Cody "I'm sure you'll get to terroize her another day."

"I don't think so." Cody stammered.

"Okay, then why don't you go terroize someone else?" Blue asked her friend.

Cody ran into the chicken coup and all of a sudden, feathers came flying right out. He then ran back out to the fields with feathers in his mouth.

"Hey Cody." Orson went up to him "What're you doing with those feathers in your mouth?"

"I ate Roy." Cody spit the feathers out.

"Cody ate Roy!" Orson ran away "Cody ate Roy! Cody ate Roy!"

Just then, Roy walked up to Cody, carrying a torn up pillow.

"Hey Cody!" he said to the puppy "What happened to my feather pillow?"

Cody spit the feathers right out.

"You owe me a new pillow." Roy walked away.

"Don't worry Cody." Blue put her front paw on Cody "You'll catch something."

"Thanks Blue." Cody smiled.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Ellis, who are Cody and Blue?" Well, they are minor characters from the original US Acres comic strip and the dog and cat I told you about in the previous story. They never appeared in Garfield and Friends, but they still appeared during the strip's run! So what do you think of them? But don't think the US Acres family is through. There are two more characters coming soon, but they won't be here for the next few stories. Stay tuned folks! Let's get back to Garfield and see what he's up to.**


	3. Another Date for Garfield

Our story opens at the Arbuckle house at night where we see Garfield lying down on the couch, all curled up as usual.

"Boy," he stretched "Am I bored."

Yep, Garfield was indeed bored. Normally, Garfield would raid the fridge or do have a nap or try to steal milk from the milkman, but tonight he was all alone. Odie and Lyman were both out for a walk and Jon was too busy working on his cartoons.

"I'm lonely" he leaped off the couch "I think I'll go and see if I can find Arlene."

Garfield went right out of the doggy door and walked to the alley fence to find Arlene. He climbed up and sat down.

"Okay," he sat down "Now, how am I gonna find her?"

Just then, a blue cat with a pink bow came right towards Garfield.

"Hi, there" she waved her front paw at Garfield.

"Um...hi?" Garfield looked at her, bored.

"YOU TWO TIMING SWINE!" someone pointed at Garfield.

"Huh?" Garfield turned around and saw Arlene, hissing at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I'll just leave" the blue cat leaped right off the fence.

"Hello Arlene" Garfield walked over to Arlene, who was glaring at him.

"Don't telepathically speak to me, you two timing swine!" Arlene hissed at him "I saw you with that other woman!"

"Look Arlene, baby cakes," Garfield calmly smiled at her "Do I look like the type of guy who would easily attract women?"

"You're right" Arlene sighed.

"And just what do you mean by that?!" Garfield hissed at Arlene.

"Nothing" Arlene rolled her eyes.

"It's what I thought" He glared.

"So, what do you want to do Garfield?" Arlene looked at Garfield.

Just then, some music was playing from a house down the block.

"Ballroom dance music" Garfield looked at the house "Playing on that record player at the house down the block."

"Dance music?" Arlene beamed "Why don't we dance, Garfield? It would be so romantic."

"Yeah, if you are a biped." Garfield rolled his eyes "But what's stopping us?"

"Then, let's dance." Arlene smiled.

Both Garfield and Arlene stood on their hind legs and started dancing like humans would do in a ballroom.

"You dance like you have two left feet." Arlene kept dancing.

"We do." Garfield dipped her.

"Oh yeah" Arlene rolled her eyes "We're quadrupeds."

Just then, the music stopped and Garfield and Arlene sat down on their four legs.

"Are we ever gonna have a relationship Garfield?" Arlene looked at him.

"Nah" Garfield shook his head "I don't see that happening."

"Why?" Arlene looked at him.

"We're too different" He sighed "You're neat, I'm a slob. You're refined, I'm just a run of the mill guy. You're kind, generous and giving..."

"And you don't wanna share you're food" Arlene looked at him.

"Bingo baby cakes!" Garfield snapped his fingers.

"Well, whatever" Arlene turned around.

Garfield and Arlene turned around and saw the full moon, glowing into the night.

"Look at that moon, Garfield." Arlene stared at the moon.

"Yep." Garfield looked at the moon as well.

"Does that give you any ideas?" Arlene looked seductively at him.

"Sure." Garfield smiled.

Garfield used his hands to make shadow puppets at the moon.

"No Garfield," Arlene put his hands down "What I was thinking of was something like, howling at the moon."

"I see," Garfield smiled "My key or yours Arlene?"

"My key." she cleared her throat.

They both cleared their throats and started to sing.

"RRRROWWWW!" they howled "RRRROWWW RRRROWWW!"

However, the neighbors didn't take so kindly to this.

"Shut up you stupid cats!" shouted an old lady.

All the neighbors started throwing food at both Garfield and Arlene.

"Now this is what an audience feels like" Garfield started eating all the food thrown at him.

"Do you love me more than you love food Garfield?" Arlene watched him eat.

"Do chickens have lips?" He turned around to Arlene.

"No" Arlene rolled her eyes.

"Bingo baby cakes." Garfield went back to eating.

"Now if only I could compete with that belly of his." Arlene looked at the readers.

 **THE END**

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Looks like nothing, not even Arlene can come between Garfield and his stomach! And so, ends another episode of the Garfield and Friends Show. Our next story will be coming pretty soon so don't you worry about that! Stay tuned!**


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